Uncaging Our Voices

Over the last few days I’ve been trying to write about perception and how culture influences our ways of seeing things, thereby determining many of the actions we take, both individually and collectively. While writing, I keep finding myself hitting the delete button, over and over. So much of what I want to say seems to be at odds with what feels "acceptable" to say. In other words, I’m afraid of getting into trouble with you, afraid of saying something offensive. And this leads me to want to write, instead, about the taboo of speaking about the recklessness of our industrial growth society, and about how that silence leads to helplessness and facilitates continued destruction. Sitting here writing words on my computer, I imagine a person reading them, I imagine their shock when I say something about how lawns might not be the best use of our land, or some such idea. And there is this part of me that wants to hide, to delete all my words, to take them back. When I say to you that our human species is in danger, when I say that I feel pain about our world, when I say that the dominant culture we have created is leading us down a path that does not serve our best interests and is actually killing our life-support system, I feel nervous of how these words will be received. I imagine that some people will deny the truth in these words, will call me crazy or unpatriotic or even dangerous.

I notice that in our daily interactions we do not talk too much about the state of our world. Sure, we may talk about events in the news, or remark on how the weather patterns seem to be changing. We certainly talk about wars and climate change and other difficult subjects. But how often do we admit to each other (and even to ourselves) how we feel about how severe our situation is, how precariously we are holding onto life ? How often do we say to a friend, " I feel so confused about the state of the world", or "I feel really sad that I don’t know how to live in a way that is sustainable," or " I carry around so much pain about the world." When in conversation, I often notice myself avoiding how much I am affected by the state of things. Even me, who has been making confronting all this part of my life’s work– even I deny it daily in my interactions. We don’t talk about this stuff because it is so hard to speak about. Because others’ may judge us for it. Because we may appear wacky. Because it is not culturally acceptable (we are good happy Americans, after all). We don’t speak of this because it means we have to face it, to feel the feelings that come along with it. There are a whole host of reasons why we do not include words about the direness of the human situation ( or life's situation) on earth in our daily dialogues.

But when we do not speak what is in our hearts, when we hold back for fear of condemnation or alienation, or for fear of facing what is so hard to face, we give away our power to create a better world. David Korten writes in his book The Great Turning" Many of us have serious doubts about the validity and values of the prevailing imperial stories. Yet because we rarely hear them challenged by credible voices, we fear ridicule if we give voice to our doubts. Truth silenced becomes truth denied." (page 355). Last fall, after some reflection about my feelings on the terrible state of our food system, I put out a note to a few local friends about it. I never would have predicted the amazing response. Because of this one email, my community and I started a community group based on the idea of supporting our local farmers as well as each other. My sense of connection has grown immensely and in many ways because of this. And it would not have happened if I had not spoken up. I have decided I don’t want to give up on the dream of a better world for the sake of appearance. I cannot let my fear of alienation, my consideration for anyone else’s response, stop me from speaking my truth. If I don’t share– and if you don’t share– what we feel harm from in this crazy culture, how will we ever find out how to move beyond it? I don’t suggest wallowing in ickyness, or regurgitating pain. But I also am sure it doesn’t serve us to turn our eyes away from the destruction and remain polite and superficially happy just to placate what you imagine someone else believes. Claiming our feelings about this, claiming our responsibility in it, is a first step to healing.

Having said that, I do find it incredibly important to try our best not judge others, not to condemn them for what they are feeling or how they are going about their lives. Hiding our truths is one thing, judging others is entirely another. I aspire here, in my writings, to include you, not to judge you. If I say something strong and intense it is with the best of intentions, and "with fierce determination to continue the billion year dance"( as John Seed writes in his Invocation). I believe we all try our best with the resources (physical and emotional and spiritual) that we perceive to have available to us. I want to uncage my voice, to let my love for the world out, and my pain for it, too, without hesitation; I want to let it flow out of my heart, past my caging ribs, up through my constricting throat, to soar through the cave of my mouth and the twisting of my tongue, so that it may flow into the curve of your ear, and you may hear me. And I want to hear you, too. In this time it may seem an uphill battle for most of us. But we are in this together. And our very best resources are each other, our power of connection, and the truth that pours from our miraculous tongues.
　
I encourage you to share what you feel about the chaos of the world with a friend or a stranger the very next time you can. You may be surprised by the response.